I’m getting divorced.
I’m getting divorced because he told me to stop singing. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard it but this time was different. I felt it in my core.
We were driving down the highway with the top down. I had my ipod in, playing all my favorite songs. The sun was out, I felt on top of the world as I belted out a tune.
He turned to me and said…You really shouldn’t do that.
I said do what?
He said sing.
I asked why.
He said because the top was down and someone might hear.
The only thing I could get out of my lips was to tell him I really wanted to punch him. Not the best response but the only one I could utter.
I knew in that moment my marriage was over. It wasn’t the first issue and may seem kind of silly in a way until one understands that I’ve spent 45 years trying to find my voice.
I wanted to find my voice for me…not for anyone else…just for me.
Not necessarily my singing voice…just my voice.
I’d been trying for years and in that one little moment I found it.
Love never silences someone. Love sees them happy and that make it wonderful, even if their voice sucks.
I’m not sure if mine does or not but I don’t really care. I don’t sing for anyone except me.
Of course, there have been other issues but the details aren’t important.
What is important is that when love is true and right, hearing the sound of someone’s voice should make you happy.
Happy to know they are alive…
Happy they are happy…
and happy they are right there at your side.
There is no value in staying small and silent.
Its only when we are able to fully express who we are that we can be fulfilled.
Like that famous quote from Marianne Williamson says, “when we shine our light, we give others permission to do the same.”
In one moment, my marriage was over.
In the next moment, my life began.