I’ve been troubled for some time now. Lots of thoughts rolling around in my mind about something that happened several months ago. What happened didn’t involve me really. It wasn’t about me at all but it involved someone I cared about a lot.
I’ve wondered if I’d ever get past it…ever get over it. I’ve wondered if I wasn’t letting it go as a form of self-sabotage…not being able to fully appreciate the good in this area of my life that exists today because this negative experience is nagging, always nagging, me in the back of my mind…in a way, keeping me safe…keeping me from loving fully. I’ve wondered why living in that pain seemed to be necessary, somehow, for me right now.
Yesterday I read something about how we could change – or neutralize – our negative feelings by imagining a different outcome or different experience as something more positive. It got me thinking about what I would have preferred happened all those months ago.
Interestingly, through all my reflection, I was able to really see and feel deep in my heart that what happened was perfect. The experience is part of what has gotten me to such a positive place in my life in this area. I kind of wished it had ended differently but I wasn’t able to come up with something I would prefer until this morning…
And then the answer was there. The truth was there. Truth. Not the crap we make up in our head. Not the assumptions we make based on partial information or no information at all. But the truth. It had been there all along…I was just so wrapped up in the hurt and pain that I didn’t see it. How it truthfully ended was exactly what I would have wished, if I’d been able to write the story myself. I can’t believe I missed those facts. They were there in print…in black and white…available for me to see all along. But I didn’t see it…I wanted to feel like a victim. I wanted to wallow in my self-pity. Why? I have no idea but it was serving me somehow. And now I could let it go.
This lesson ties into the lessons I’ve learned about perception…how powerful perception can be whether it’s truth or not. It ties into our ability to manifest. By stepping off that wheel of fear and into my heart, my reality changed. The outcome of that situation was perfect in every way. It always was. I just couldn’t see it before.
Today my heart is full of love and appreciation for the truth. For being able to see it. For being able to love fully, without hesitation and without feeling a need to keep myself safe. Because I am safe in every way simply because I allowed myself to open up to the truth and shift my reality.