The other day my youngest daughter came over and was sharing/venting about how she lost her ID card for her new job. She was really pissed about needing to pay $100 to replace it (which she knew about when she got it). Her entire argument was that she didn’t choose to need an ID card to get in the building so, since it’s being forced on her, she shouldn’t have to pay.
I stopped her dead in her tracks and reminded her that mindset doesn’t fly in my home. She chose to apply for that job knowing it would require some extra security steps to get there every day. She chose to accept the job when it was offered to her knowing she needed that ID card and that it would cost her $100 if she lost it. All of it was a choice…her choice and so, in truth, it was a choice to need that ID card.
Behaving like a victim will get you nowhere fast. There is no empowerment or positivity in this mindset. We all fall into the trap once in a while in our lives. I have had issues with a few people in my life that have taken me years to work through in which I felt like a victim, It’s not that things weren’t done TO me but how I handled it, whether I stuck around, etc. – those were my choices so I wasn’t a victim.
So how do you step out of that victim mindset when you find yourself setting up camp there? Here are 6 steps to get you started…
- Recognize the energy. You must recognize that you are blaming someone or something else for the circumstances of your life. Without awareness, you cannot shift anything.
- Understand the benefits of “being a victim”. We don’t do anything that doesn’t work for us. We don’t do anything that doesn’t fill a need. The benefits to behaving like a victim include getting attention from others, people feel bad for you, you don’t have to take risks, you don’t have to take responsibility, and you feel justified/right.
- Decide you are willing to be responsible for your life. This is the only space you can grow and have a full life.
- Live your life in gratitude. Focus on what’s working and express gratitude on a daily, even hourly basis.
- Connect with your entire being. Spend time looking in the mirror, move your body, etc. Being in a victim state disconnects us from aspects of ourselves.
- Forgive yourself and others. It’s not uncommon to slip in this state and takes practice to stay out of it. Don’t beat yourself up if you find yourself here…just recognize it and make a decision to shift it when you are ready. And forgive others…remember their behavior isn’t about you…it’s only a reflection of where they are in their own lives and in their own belief systems. Resentment will kill you…let it go.
These 6 steps will allow you to shift into a state of taking responsibility for your life and your circumstances. Through this space, you will find peace and freedom…two things most of us crave and believe are outside of our reach. They don’t have to be…they are inside of us now…there for our enjoyment of life…we just have to be willing to step into the energy that connects us to our heart and soul. This is the energy you will find happiness.